Give Me a Haircut or Give Me Death!

This weekend, I saw video taken at a protest march. The protester interviewed complained about government overreach, store closures, and—I kid you not—his inability to get a haircut. Nothing speaks to the encroachment of the Deep State on our liberties than unruly hair.

A Story:

My father-in-law, Frank, used to complain bitterly about toll roads. As a member of the “Greatest Generation,” he served in WW II, but fervently believed that toll roads were an attack on “Live Free or Die—” the reason why he signed-up to fight the Germans.

Had it been my father, I would have told him he was an idiot and explained why. You can do that to your parents. You can’t, however, say that to your in-laws. [Note: Not enough space here to explain why not.]

I vividly recall the HIV/AIDS crisis. As long as you didn’t exchange body fluids with an infected person, you weren’t at risk. Violating the social distancing guidelines with a person infected by the Coronavirus can make you ill—this virus is just that transmissible. Yet, I still recall how some people recoiled in the presence of an HIV infected person. They wanted “those people” removed from everyday life to protect everyone else. Today, there’s a persistent minority of Americans whose blood lust for a haircut is a willing trade for your life.

That’s not an exaggeration. It’s the ground truth.

I also saw a photo of a weekend protester carrying a poster that said: “NO Lockdown, NO Vaccine, NO Masks.” It’s official. The wingnuts are finding one another.

Without a vaccine, there will be no other way to gain immunity except through exposure. Just hope you’re one of the asymptomatic. Without immunity, this isn’t a once-in-a-lifetime event. It will be a forever, rolling experience where we repeatedly socially distance between lockdowns and haircuts.

We never got to drug trials with the SAR virus. We still don’t know if the ongoing drug trials of vaccine candidates for COVID-19 will prove successful. The common cold comes from the same family of viruses and in spite of billions of dollars in research, there is no vaccine against the common cold. 

The anti-vaxxers don’t want a vaccine. Even though there’s no credible scientific evidence of a link between vaccines and autism, you’ll never convince them. These zealots brought back the measles after this childhood disease was thought to be eradicated. So, they’ll send their unvaccinated children to our schools which are great petri dishes.

Even if one of the candidates for a therapeutic approach proves successful, you still have to become sick to obtain a prescription. Just think how interesting life will become this fall. Do you have fall allergies? Is it the flu? Is it the coronavirus? Remember, if you’re ill they don’t want you to visit the physician’s office where you can infect everyone within spitting distance. But you’d better a prescription for a therapeutic quickly, because these medications are most effective early on in your illness. The later you take them, the sicker, the longer you’ll be ill.

Listen to the wingnuts. Open the stores in time for Mother’s Day. Open the bars and restaurants too so you can take her to dinner. And don’t forget Father’s Day one month later. What better gift to give your Mom and Dad than a premature encounter with the coronavirus—or worse.

After all, it’s your liberty at stake here. Give me the damn haircut!

Copyright 2020, Howard D. Weiner